Have you ever heard people say that you have to let things go in order to let things in?
This concept is something that people have shared with me for a very long and it is not until very recently that I have actually truly heard it, like really heard it, and taken the time to begin to understand it. It sounds so simple, doesn't it? Just pick some things to let go and then you have room. Well, it hasn't been that simple for me. I knew that there were things that I wanted to be different in my life, but I really couldn't grasp what, when and how this might work for me.
I have mulled over a lot of questions in my mind like....
Where do I begin to understand the things that need to go?
How do I choose which things?
How do I do it?
Is there really anything that needs to go?
Am I really prepared to let anything go?
Do I see or understand the need to do this?
Is there really anything not getting in because I haven't let go?
As I took some time to analyze this, or over analyze, I realized that by sitting and thinking about this and continuing to ask additional questions of myself was just procrastination! Why was I doing that? What was I afraid of? Yes, afraid of! Did you know that at the root of most procrastination, there is fear? Yes, fear! This is another concept for another day! It was time to set the fear aside and get into action.
I had to realize that there was nothing broken or nothing that needed fixing! Can you relate? I found that I had this internal dialogue of all that might be wrong and how would I "fix" it. I had to embrace the idea that there is no perfect way to be or to grow. There is nothing that needs to be "fixed", and nothing is wrong with me. Once I got my mind around all of this, things started to shift. I began to understand that I must start growing beyond the conditions of my past and into the future I want to create.
So, what are the ideas that I have that I have to let go around the things that are no longer serving me?
I am working to let go of the idea that I have to do everything and be everything for everyone.
I am working to let go of the idea that I have to say yes to everything that I am asked to do.
I am working to let go of worrying about what people think of me.
I am working to let go of the fear of speaking my opinions, thoughts and needs more boldly, Out Loud!
I am working to let go of the idea that anything worth doing must be done perfectly.
I am working to let go of the idea that being vulnerable is a weakness.
I am working to let go of the "ideal" of what I think I am supposed to be and learn that is it OK to be ME!
Turns out that making this list was the easy part. Once I got started, the ideas started to flow, just the act of making the list made me feel a bit better and to be honest, a bit empowered. Don't get me wrong, it didn't necessarily feel good to put some of these thoughts in writing and I feel a bit vulnerable in sharing it with you, but you already know that this is something that I am working on, letting go of feeling ashamed of being vulnerable. So, this is a start! I love this quote on vulnerability from Brené Brown's new book, The Atlas of the Heart, "vulnerability is not weakness; it's our greatest measure of courage". In a way, this quote has given me permission to be vulnerable to this process and to share it with you. By the way, the book is absolutely fantastic, I highly recommend it!
It is now clear to me that I have been stuck to an ideal that is no longer serving me and in order to reach true happiness I have to let it go. This ideal might have served me well at various points in my life, but not anymore. I am learning that my self-worth and the ability to be loved and accepted is not tied to being a super mom, or having that big corporate job, it is not tied to how many volunteer roles and board positions I have, or the need to be a perfectionist at everything I do. It is actually tied to learning to genuinely be me, whatever that might mean. Stay tuned as I work to discover all there is to discover.
So, the work begins. Each day is a new day and a new opportunity to create the conditions for growth. I am in pursuit of creating my compelling future and doing things because I want to and not because I think I have to. Doing things that truly brings me joy! I am hopeful that my new sense of curiosity will remain with me for the rest of my life and I that I will have the courage to become who I am truly meant to be. I am also open now to knowing that the "me" that I am looking for will continue to change with each new chapter in life.
What do you need to let go of in order to create your compelling future and become who you you truly want to be? I would love to hear.
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